Someone always has to ruin it for the rest of us…every…freaking…time. Much like Hitler gave weird mini-mustaches a bad name when he decided to make an inept attempt to take over the world, Aaron Hernandez has probably set athletes with tattoos back a solid three decades by being a complete piece of crap. How has he set us all back? Well the act…or * ahem *…acts that he’s perpetrated to set his brother in ink back are multiple shootings, one of which was a murder. Not only did the former New England Patriot’s tight end shoot one of his former friends a while back, but he recently orchestrated one of the sloppiest and most poorly planned murders in history. So now as the heavily tattooed Hernandez awaits a trial that will almost surely produce a conviction or a lengthy plea deal, the National Football League (NFL) is reportedly considering bringing in experts to review the tattoos of incoming players (signed from the draft or as rookie free agents) to rule or confirm possible gang ties and/or criminal ties. You got it folks, just as having tattoos was becoming just another thing, this idiot has gone and turned every kid with a quick forty yard dash and some bad tribal work into a possible perp. We have to imagine that the NFL Players Association (NFLPA) will take issue with the idea, but seeing as how Hernandez reportedly is/was in his high school days a gang member who may in fact have gang tattoos on him, it’s going to be a hard point to argue. It should also be noted that experts have expressed concern that Hernandez will be a target in jail because of his possibly criminal ink, but we’re pretty sure the a dude of his size with the kind of bank account and reputation was going to be a target anyway, so his ink is kinf of a moot point. We would’ve been more surprised if no one messed with him, especially people who hate the Patriots and lack mental stability…which is a ton of people. Anyhow, once this practice becomes common in football, expect it to find its way into other leagues and sports. So if you’re trying to make a career out of being an athlete, maybe reconsider getting your block number inked on your arm, or be ready to spend a lot of cash on laser removal when the time comes to pose for that Wheaties box.
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